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The Corpse of NPR Pats Itself on the Back

When the Trump administration and congressional Republicans choked off $1.1 billion in public broadcasting funds, NPR CEO Katherine Maher celebrated NPR’s liberation from the “Congressional funding Sword of Damocles over our heads.” Thanks in part to Maher’s disastrous stewardship, the sword fell, the head and now the corpse is out congratulating itself: Maher said she’s seeing a spike in donations. Hooray.

Daddy Spanks, the World Gives Thanks

America’s greatest president, Donald Trump, is the prohibitive frontrunner to win the Nobel Peace Prize after ending the 12-Day War with an overwhelming victory for the good guys. Some may try to argue otherwise, but they don’t know what the f— they’re doing.

Jim Acosta Throws the Lamest Party Ever

The lineup for the ex-CNN anchor’s first (and apparently only) stop on the “Fire Within Tour” would struggle to draw a crowd almost anywhere else in the country: Rosie O’Donnell, Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D., Texas), and an assortment of professional Trump haters.